![]() Vampires literally pop up out of nowhere, to see and pay homage to “the child.” ‘We opened our home to 18 vampires,’ cries Bella, who plays narrator (WTF?) against the most nauseating soundtrack in movie history. In order to avoid a bloodbath (imagine a vampire ever saying that?) the Cullen coven must recruit vampires from all over the world to fight Aro (Michael Sheen) Jane (Dakota Fanning) and the rest of the bad guys. ![]() Oh yeah, the Volturi (vampire hierarchy) is hopping mad, and en route to kill everyone. ![]() If you need help with the story, you have no business seeing this film (yet alone, reading my review.) In a nutshell, Bella ( Kristen Stewart) and Edward ( Robert Pattinson) have a kid, Bella’s a vampire and Jacob ( Taylor Lautner) has a new girl. Once you get past lines like ‘We’re the same temperature now,’ ‘You guys look really good together’ and 'You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?’ the final chapter in the Twilight Saga should be all about fun. Mind you, I said entertaining, not great There’s a difference, don’t you know. 2008’s Twilight remains the best of the lot (Where did you go Catherine Hardwicke?) but the final half of Breaking Dawn - Part 2 is as entertaining an hour as you’re likely to find in theaters all year. You won’t find a better (or more fitting) end to a series painfully short of excitement.įorgive me for focusing on the action-packed “brawl for it all” over the tortuous love story that crippled films two, three, four and half of five. On to the second (and far superior) hour, which wraps up Stephenie Meyer’s The Twilight Saga in glorious, beheading style. It’s hard to find too much fault with a vampire movie that’s squarely aimed at teenage girls, so I won’t dwell much on the first hour of Bill Condon’s The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2.
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